How to Live By Derek Sivers

My Notes

All misery comes from dependency. If you weren’t dependent on income, people, or technology, you would be truly free. The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies.

avoid social media and the zeitgeist. Its stupidity will infect you.

dogs bark. People speak. It doesn’t mean a thing. What they say and do has nothing to do with you, even if it seems directed your way.

dogs bark. People speak. It doesn’t mean a thing. What they say and do has nothing to do with you, even if it seems directed your way. The only opinion that matters is your own.

when you know what you’re doing, you won’t care what anyone else is doing. When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.

never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic.

never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic. Wait a few days to decide what you really think. Don’t let ideas into your head or heart without your permission.

being independent means you can’t blame others. Decide everything is your fault. Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself.

friends are great at the right distance. Just like you can’t read something if it’s pushed up against your face, or too far away, you should keep your friends at arm’s length — close but not too close.

don’t worry about being lonely. Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person. It’s always better to be alone.

you don’t see things as they are. You see them as you are. Change yourself and you change the world.

learn the skills you need to be self-reliant. Learn to drive, fly, sail, garden, fish, and camp.

don’t depend on any company, especially not the big tech giants.

live where you feel most free. Move symbolically far away from where you grew up. Living in a foreign place helps make it clear that this culture’s rules don’t apply to you.

move to a new country every few months, never a registered resident of anywhere. Spread the different aspects of your life across different countries to avoid depending on any one country. Earn multiple passports. If a country enters into war or makes your life hard, just leave.

own your own business with many small customers to avoid depending on any big client.

offer products, not a personal service, so your business can run without you. Create many sources of income like this.

be willing to walk away from anything.

if you’ve ever been confused or distracted, with too many options… if you don’t finish what you start… if you’re not with a person you love… … then you’ve felt the problem. The problem is a lack of commitment.

no choice is inherently the best. What makes something the best choice? You. You make it the best through your commitment to it.

no choice is inherently the best. What makes something the best choice? You. You make it the best through your commitment to it. Your dedication and actions make any choice great.

let go of every unnecessary obligation. Each one seems small, but together, they’ll drain your soul. Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else.

rockets use most of their fuel in the first minute of flight, to escape the pull of gravity. Once they get outside that pull, it’s effortless. Same with your habits. Starting is hard. The rest is easy.

marry. Marry someone full of kindness who is committed to putting you in the center of their life. Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you. Someone that doesn’t punish you for mistakes. Someone who sees you as your highest potential. Commit completely.

find places that bombard your senses. India. Burning man. Festivals. Museums. Celebrations. Funerals. Skydive. Scuba dive. Run with bulls. Swim with sharks. Float in space.

people who try too hard to be liked are annoying.

people who try too hard to be liked are annoying. People who try too hard to be attractive are repulsive. People who try too hard to be enlightened are self-centered. People who try too hard to be happy are miserable.

your whole experience of life is in your mind. Focus on your internal world, not external world.

if you need money, be an investor. It’s the only career where you profit the most by doing the least.

the stock market takes money from the active traders and gives it to the patient.

many huge achievements are just the result of little actions done persistently over time.

if you take up a new hobby at the age of forty, or whatever age you think is too late, you’ll be an expert by the age of sixty.

we say someone is lucky if they are born into a rich family, in a stable country, full of opportunity. But that luck was created by the grandparents that moved to that promising place, then worked hard and saved money for the next generation instead of spending it themselves.

we say someone is lucky if they are born into a rich family, in a stable country, full of opportunity. But that luck was created by the grandparents that moved to that promising place, then worked hard and saved money for the next generation instead of spending it themselves. Make your grandchildren lucky like this. Move to a place with good values that’s headed in the right direction.

we treat the future like a garbage dump. We dump our debts, pollution, junk, and responsibilities on the future, as if it’s a problem solved.